The title describes how I felt lately, but not in a depressing way. I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’m at a crossroads in my life. It’s not a life or death crossroads, but one just the same. I’ve been working on what I’ll call a “life plan”. It’s brought up a lot of questions.

• What do I want to do for the rest of my life?
• How much longer do I want to work full time?
• What do I want to do when I retire?
• Do/will I have enough money when I do decide to retire?
• How can I best determine what the future will look like?
• How can I live comfortably now and still save money for retirement?

The list goes on and on. None of the questions are easy to answer. I always assumed I’d be asking these questions with a life partner. I never thought I’d be struggling with these types of questions by myself and yet that’s exactly what I’m doing.

You might guess that I’m older than I am given that these are the types of questions I’m wrestling with, but I’m only 44. I did however have parents who were 51 and 55 when they retired and I’d like to do the same. My ultimate goal would be 50, but that’s only five years and two months away. I’ll do everything I can to make it happen, but 55 wouldn’t be bad either (that’s my back-up plan).

Either way, there are HUGE decisions to make and make quickly in order to ensure I’ll make it.

I took a huge step this week and met with a financial adviser. Luckily I’m not starting from scratch. I do have some retirement savings already. The questions I hope she’ll help me answer are “how much is enough” and “how can I save for the years between retirement and the use of my 401K (at age 59 ½)”.

My short term goal is to have a plan in place for 2015 and I’m starting to see that as a reality. It’s been a long year of planning on my part. It’s nice to start feeling like progress is being made.

I’m hoping to start sharing some of the things I’m doing towards early retirement in future posts. Stay tuned.