Right after I wrote yesterday’s post about “struggling with inspiration” I read a post from a friends blog in which she talks about “action before motivation”. She was actually referring to not wanting to go to the gym, but it totally resonated with me. And, the NaBloPoMo is forcing me to live this quote.
I don’t always have the motivation to write every single day, but I strongly believe that by just forcing the action I will conquer this challenge. I believe one of my biggest motivation blockers is FEAR. I fear that people won’t like what I write or, even worse, they will think it’s stupid. Consequently I internalize that fear and take it further to think that if people don’t like what I write, then they won’t like me as a person.
Wow…that was heavy and hard to write.
It’s quite ridiculous of me think people will even give it that much thought. The more likely response would be that they just won’t read it or will move on to something else. It’s a conflict between my mind and my heart. In my mind I know that people will not judge me personally for most the things I write and even if they do that’s not my problem. But, my heart worries (I know a heart can’t actually worry) that people will think less of me if they don’t like what I write.
As crazy as this all sounds, I believe this fear keeps me from writing the two books that I want to write. I’ve shared my book ideas and outlines with only one other person (others know pieces, but not that I want to write a book about it). That one person thinks I have a goldmine of ideas for both books and yet I’m fearful that no one will like them and that I’ll be wasting my time writing them.
If all I get from the NaBloPoMo writing challenge is the idea to just take action and “do it”, that will be a huge win.
Does FEAR keep you from doing what you want to do? What about FEAR that people won’t like you just because they don’t like your writing?