Having Expectations of Others

If I had to pick one thing I do which in turn causes me the most grief in my life…it would be having expectations of others.  I’m frequently disappointed when I think someone will act one way and they inside act a completely different.  Because I know having these expectations causes me so much pain, it seems like something I could change.  Yet over the years I have not changed.  I still have expectations regarding how people will act in certain situations and am disappointed when their behavior does not match my expectations. I alluded to “having expectations of others” a couple of times already on this blog, like when I mentioned “disappointment avoidance” in my post Asking For Help or in my post Being Stood Up when I had an expectation that my friend would show up even though I knew in my heart that she wouldn’t.

I wish I could wake up one day and all of a sudden I only set expectations for myself, but I’m old set in my ways enough to know that day will likely never come.  Instead I thinking recognition does ease the pain a bit.

Do you have expectations of others?  How do you deal with the disappointment when they don’t meet your expectations?



  1. right there with you. i’ve learned it’s better to not expect anything at all.

    1. Thanks for checking out my blog. It’s sad that having expectations of others is a “bad thing”.

      1. you’re welcome. and if you think about it it really isn’t that bad. because it would be sucky for someone to expect something of you and you unknowingly not meet their expectations too. it’s even better when we meet each others expectations unexpectedly 🙂

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