Because of the massive pain I encountered this week due to a kidney stone, I figured out something that I don’t like about myself. ..
…I reward myself with food.
I actually already knew this, but this week it really hit home. I’ve been doing so good with food lately. This week I felt like I DESERVED to cheat.
OMGosh…really…I should never DESERVE food. I need to eat when I’m hungry…not when I think I should get a reward for enduring something…like pain.
I think this is further prove that I have a food addiction. I’m sure there is not a skinny person on the planet that decides they DESERVE bad food just because they are in pain.
I remember reading a book a long, long time ago called Diets Don’t Work. For the book they interviewed people and asked “why do you eat”. Heavier people or those that struggled with their weight said things like “when I’m bored”, “when I’m sad”, “when I’m etc, etc”. Skinny people thought the question was a joke…they said “I eat when I’m hungry”. Duh!
I’m really trying to embrace that truism, but a lifetime of “food for comfort” gets in the way constantly. I also come from the “clean your plate” generation. I’d never be able to count the number of times I was told to clean my plate growing up.
I guess “acceptance” is the first step towards “fixing the problem”. I’ve definitely accepted the fact that I eat for a lot of reasons other than hunger. Now I’ll make that step towards fixing the problem by being more aware in the future.
Do you reward yourself with food? Why do you think we do this?